It’s easier to make friends than create a healthy relationship with neighbors. Do you agree? You get to choose your friends, but not your neighbors. With your gals, you can shed your inhibitions, be your quirky and weird self without fear of judgment. It’s a different story with the couple next door. There’s a certain balance of congeniality and privacy you should maintain in the neighborhood. Building trust with your neighbor can be considered as an art itself.
If befriending the people in your neighborhood is a lot of work, why bother? The people around you can be your helpline in times of need such as during a medical emergency, natural calamity or a burglary. The same is expected from you. This symbiotic relationship is what helps people survive. For moms, a support system within reach can truly lessen the load and pressure of maintaining a household.
How to Gain Trust and Make Friends with New Neighborhood
How to befriend your neighbor if you’ve just moved in or if you’re not exactly a people person? Here’s your quick guide.
Know the Kind of Relations you’re After
“Am I building a cordial relationship with my neighbor or am I out to make new friends?” Terminologies are important here. Not everyone is comfortable with inviting acquaintances for brunches with an intention to be part of their lives. But others find it necessary to build trust in a new neighborhood. If your intent is to simply to get to know your neighbors and have a somewhat formal relation with them, you can keep your conversations on important matters and within a minimum. A warm greeting in the morning will do. This exchange may or may not lead to a friendship. That’s your decision. The point is, know the kind of relations you want with the people in your new neighborhood.
What are the easy ways to make friends with your neighbors? Whether you’re looking for a formal relation with your neighbors or lasting friendships, you need to make the proper introductions. You can go traditional and bring a nice treat to the family next door. Your real estate agent can also introduce you to the neighborhood via postcards with a bit of info about the incoming residents. You can be more proactive by sending notes with your contact information and inviting them to pass along theirs for a directory for emergency purposes.
A casual greeting with your mom-neighbors can turn into a fun dinner. How to make friends in a new neighborhood? Be visible. It’s easier to introduce yourself to someone familiar. Spend time at the laundromat, salon, and park. You don’t need to jump into the opportunity of giving your name right away. Just be seen. Smile and start small talk if you must.
Join Community Activities
In building trust in communities, you need the chance to prove your trustworthiness. Join activities in your neighborhood such as clean-up drives, fundraising events, and sports fests. You can volunteer in committees and work with other people. Your participation in these activities can also pave the way for your kids to build their own circle in your new neighborhood.
Open your Communication Channels
Are you an introvert who despise small talk? There are ways to make friends with your neighbors without always “putting yourself out there.” Social media is heaven-sent for an introvert – you can connect and disconnect at your pleasure. Join Facebook or Viber groups of moms in your new neighborhood. These online groups are popular everywhere because they keep busy moms in the loop. Perhaps, after a a few exchanges, you’d be comfortable to meet some moms for a coffee date.
Offer your Assistance Whenever you Can
Neighbors or not, it’s important to let people know that they can count on you. Simple acts can go a long way. You can ask your kids to pick the neighbor’s newspapers when they’re not in town. Offer to check up on their home during their vacation as an additional protection with their home alarm monitoring services. Make them feel that their lovely house is in the safe neighborhood. Nothing can scare away burglars knowing that a home is being closely guarded. These acts of kindness speak volumes on your intent to build trust in your new neighborhood. Also, who doesn’t want a daily dose of good karma?
Diffuse Misunderstandings like Adults
The source may be anything – your kids had a fight, your dog destroyed their neighbor’s flowers. Keep in mind that nothing can be resolved by escalating the issue. Handle things tactfully and avoid throwing around blame. “Blame tends to get people on the defensive and can quickly escalate into an argument you cannot win or get out of gracefully. Let little irritations or grievances go when you can,” professional counselor Julienne B. Derichs tells The Reader’s Digest. If things are getting heated, it can help to seek the help of a mediator. Nothing cannot be resolved without calmly talking over things.
Always be Considerate
No one wants a nuisance. A blooming friendship can take a sad turn if you keep on ignoring your neighbor’s requests of trimming your lawn. The rule to a harmonious community living is to be considerate. “Don’t do to others, what you don’t want others do unto you.” Make sure your trash cans are kept in your property. Potty-train your pets. Park your vehicles, and your guests’, in your space. The most important tip in your mom guide in new neighborhoods? Always be considerate of others.
It’s human nature to be part of a group. There’s a lot of benefits in having a support system. For moms, finding a tribe that understands the load and pressure of motherhood is a relief. Get to know the people in your neighborhood, introduce yourself and be visible. You don’t need to jump into adding your neighbors in Facebook right away. Start with a casual hello. Whether you’re into a lasting friendship or not, remember to always be considerate.